Denial
by Mishi100
Summary: And by the 17th time Aya denied searching for her own crest in that off-shoot way of hers, Toriko decided that she's had enough of this. Enough of her schemes, enough of her fake personality. She's had enough of this, enough of this to scream.


The five of them—from Daigo to Maki to Kiro to Aya to Toriko—had no consistent quarrels with each other. They didn't fight and they helped each other to the best of their abilities... but sometimes, agreements just couldn't appear immediately.

One example of this comes in the form of two girls named Toriko and Aya—two children that were supposed to be two of the three eldest in their small, unfathomably randomized adventure group.

Toriko and Aya were known to start up fights out of no where. Fights that just wouldn't make sense, fights that just show how different the two of them are. Toriko would usually be the one who defied everything out of the blue, insisting that her opinion was right. (Which may not always be the case, but she would never admit that.) Aya would try to calm her down. But what gets her pissed off more? Was the obvious apathy radiating from Aya that _no one else_ seems to notice.

This time, it was different, and Toriko couldn't feel any more satisfied.

Aya, with her soft tone and even softer looks, was the apparent "mother hen" of their group. Not that Toriko would actually deserve the right to compare her, since she only knew her dad for all of her life. However, even Toriko had been noticing that the youngest children in their group—Daigo and Maki—would always come to Aya whenever they needed help with something. Toriko feels like that's a good "mother trait", although again, she doesn't have the right to actually note that down.

_"Aya!"_ Toriko recalled Daigo screaming at the top of his lungs once, radiating enthusiasm and all of that childish adorable-ness. _"These are safe to eat, right?"_

Aya spared a quick glance at the berries the small boy and his Digimon partner, Bearmon, were holding in their hands. She gave her answer, clasping her hands sweetly._ "I believe so, yes! Well done, the both of you!"_ Sakanemon—a small, fish-like Digimon who was partnered with Aya—would mimic Aya's actions to no delay.

It wasn't even Sakanemon that annoyed Toriko the most. Toriko often found that her Digimon partner, Dracomon, would try to mimic her actions as well. She kind of enjoyed it.

No, it was Aya's smile that annoyed Toriko, really. That smile and that oh-so-fake personality that just wanted to make her scream at the top of her lungs until Aya was gone.

And by the 17th time Aya denied searching for her own crest in that off-shoot way of hers, Toriko decided that she's had enough of this. Enough of her schemes, enough of her fake personality. She's had enough of this, enough of this to scream.

"This isn't a game, you know!" She really couldn't help herself. It was hot, they were all dehydrated, and Maki and Daigo looked like they were going to collapse if Kiro wasn't Kiro and he didn't try to hold onto them for their dear lives. Dracomon jumped in surprise at the sudden noise. "People's lives are actually at stake! Let's go find your damn crest already, so we all can leave!"

After a moment or two of complete silence, she finally got her answer.

And she was surprised when she didn't get Aya's oh-so-fake personality. "I know this isn't a game," Aya calmly replied with a practiced smile, as if she was coaxing a child. They're the same age, what the hell is she doing— "That's why we should have no need or desire to find my crest."

Kiro, who had dragged himself at the back of the group with a currently asleep Daigo and a half-asleep Maki, poked his head up. He didn't look surprised at the answer at all, just... sad. "Aya, you know your crest is important too."

Sakanemon looked up at Aya as well. Toriko got the feeling that the Digimon felt like she was obligated to. "He's right, Aya."

Aya stopped dead in her tracks. When Toriko thought she was going to answer for herself, she merely turned and took Maki from Kiro's side. The same practiced smile was still present on her face, not a flaw or blemish to be seen. "I know. Let's get some rest for tonight, alright? It looks like we need it." She quietly patted a squirming Maki to sleep, then went to rest her on some neat grass nearby.

Kiro looked concerned, opened his mouth, then closed it immediately. He moved forward to lay Daigo to rest, and went with Falcomon to start gathering more leaves for the rest of them.

Toriko had no idea what was going on, and she didn't know how to feel about that.

* * *

Once morning came—or whatever the equivalent of morning was in this strange world—Toriko moved to get up, careful not to rustle the leaves and disturb a sleeping Maki (who decided to climb on her legs last night). She had to give a small eye roll at that fact—the younger children were just too freaking cute sometimes.

As she softly shifted her legs, Toriko noticed that there was already a plate of breakfast left by the leaves she had slept on. "Where did this come from...?"

"Oh, you're awake!" Kiro called her over quietly. Both Falcomon and Dracomon were with him, playing around with each other in a game of catch with Kiro's beanie. "Please enjoy your breakfast before we leave. And Aya's too, I guess." Toriko scoffed. _Why, she finally ran off to God knows where? Good riddance._

Maki was the next one to wake up, already quick to get started on the pile of berries and fruit left on her plate with Tapirmon. Toriko winced—she didn't mean to ask that with volume enough to wake her up. Still, she smiled at her younger friend's antics. The small girl piped up, talking through her food. "Yeah, I didn't see her with me when I woke up last night. I thought she was with you, Kiro."

Kiro seemed to have looked red in the face for an instant, although he pinched himself instantly as it disappeared another instant later. "She wasn't. She wanted to be by herself for a bit, but..." He paused, looking at Toriko dead in the eye this time, "have you noticed anything up with her lately?"

Toriko widened her eyes a bit. Why, was everyone _just now _getting to realize what a phoney Aya was? "Yes! Yes, actually—!"

"Good," Kiro sighed in relief. "You can help me convince her, then, that her crest will _not _turn out to be apathy."

Toriko did a double-take, glancing quickly at the somber Sakanemon (who Aya left here, for some reason?) and then back to Kiro. "Wait... what?"

"Yeah," Kiro replies. "Crazy, right? She's been thinking about it ever since your Crest of Will got corrupted." Toriko winced. Yeah, that had not been a pretty moment for her or Dracomon. "She... doesn't exactly think too highly of herself, so when that happened, she just kind of figured that she'd have it worse. She looks up to you, y'know." Toriko widened her mouth a bit. Kiro shrugs at this. "You're in my grade, right? So you'd be a year older than her. It makes sense—she used to hide that from me, too."

Toriko felt like crumbling on the spot. She was _so wrong. _Like, totally off the mark, At this point, she might as well be wrong about everything. She's pretty sure she is. "Where is she?"

"She said she'd be nearby, but she didn't exactly tell me—"

"Thanks Kiro!" Toriko quickly scooped up Sakanemon into her arms. "Come on, Dracomon! We'll be right back!"

Kiro stood there, confused for a second. Then, a small smile played on his lips as he watched the retreating figures.

* * *

As Toriko, Dracomon, and Sakanemon looked through the woods, they came across a lake. Still strangely somber, Sakanemon pointed up. "If we follow the river uphill, Aya should be there." Toriko kept note of this—the apparently younger tween _did_ enjoy heights and scenery. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if Aya decided to take a photo using Kiro's disposable camera here—the view was pretty cool.

Toriko glanced at Sakanemon. Something had happened between the Digidestined and Digimon partner, but she still had no idea as to what that was. Should she pry?

In a swift save of peace and mind, Dracomon seemed to have thought the same thing. "Hey, Sakanemon... What's got you so down in the dumps? I'm sure Aya is alright!"

Sakanemon gave a small smile. It looked like the smiles Aya gave when she really felt stressed. "It's nothing, Dracomon, really. I'm sure you're right!"

"Of course I'm right!" Dracomon puffed out his chest pridefully. "Always, always, always! So don't worry!"

Toriko laughed at this. "Dracomon has you there, Sakanemon." She paused. "But if something's bothering you, just let us know, alright?"

Sakanemon frowned, then sighed. "I... I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay!" Toriko answered.

"No, I mean... I'm sorry," Sakanemon meekly replied. It looked like she was about to burst into tears. "I'm... I'm the reason Aya thinks she's going to get the crest of apathy or something... and I-"

"Hold on," Dracomon started, "you're the most sympathetic Digimon I know! Why would Aya think that?"

"I..." Sakanemon bit her lip. "Remember when we fought against those Monochromon on Digifile Islands?"

"Yeah," Toriko's partner replied, "I was the one who beat 'em up!"

Sakanemon's frown deepened. She looked to the ground. "Yeah, but I... I didn't do anything. All I did was sit there, even though Aya was telling me to get up. I couldn't feel a thing, and I..." She sniffed. "...I didn't want to fight."

"That doesn't mean you should push yourself down for that," Toriko replied. "If you didn't want to fight, Aya should've known that. You don't have to fight—it's your decision to make, not hers."

Sakanemon looked up, large bubbles of teardrops forming near her ducts. "But I'm supposed to protect her! She only worries about everyone else, she doesn't want to look after herself! At all!" She looked to the side again. "I... I shouldn't have left her alone this time, either. She told me she wanted to go alone, but I could tell she needed the support..."

Toriko frowned. "Look. If Aya says that she wants some alone time, that's for her to decide. Maybe this is how she worries about herself." It really hasn't been that long since the 5 of them got to the Digital World. It wouldn't make sense for everyone to know everyone instantly. "But don't blame yourself for what she wants to do. And don't assume everything she worries about is because of you." Toriko had no real reason to remind herself of this, but it made her feel better saying it to someone else. She smiled a bit. "Aya is strong. Sometimes she'll need help—and I'm sure you'll be the first one she'll talk to when she does." She took a deep breath. "But something like traits and personality are... well, personal. And if she has doubts about her identity, it's more than likely she'd rather keep it to herself."

Sakanemon wiped her tears, but continued to frown at this. "But that's not healthy, is it?"

Toriko grinned. "No, not really. And in a world with a friend to enemy ratio of 1 to more-than-enough, we need to show that we're people she can trust with her identity. Whatever and whichever she finds out."

* * *

The waves were a lot easier to watch, she supposed. The small ripples that seemed to have come from no where—_water currents? A deity? A digimon?—_were all that was left to take in. A small click was made as she pointed the camera towards the river, the natural light coming from what feels like the sun in its morning glory.

Aya sighed. How she would love to show the others this beauty right now! However, she knows that she would become full of herself and begin to let out the steam she should've let out here. And unwilling to burden her friends with her sorrow, she sits back down.

"Something has to be wrong with me," Aya murmured. "I can't remember feeling this way at all before... Should they know?" They trust her to say what they need her to say, she thought sadly. So maybe they shouldn't know. And that was alright with her—she doesn't know what she would do if she heard it from someone else, and realize that they only just discovered it when being around her in particular.

"I shouldn't have to worry Kiro and the others like this... but—" A faint rustle was heard behind her, the bushes halting a split-second after she looked. "Is anyone there?"

Another rustle was heard, this time sounding a little louder. A figure jumped from the bushes. "Aya!"

Aya had to lean forward to catch the figure, instantly knowing who it was after the voice had shouted. "Sakanemon!" She gave a tight squeeze to the small fish's body, then sighed. "I thought I told you to stay back at the site..."

Two more figures appeared from the bushes. Toriko stole a glance at Aya, then looked at Sakanemon. "She was worried about you, Aya. Don't make her feel guilty."

"I wasn't—" Aya doubled back, and smiled. _Fuck this shit, _Toriko inwardly groaned. "What are you doing here, Toriko? Are the others alright?"

"Look, we came here because of you," Toriko answered. "Why are you here?"

Aya wanted to turn around and jump into the river or something, because _of course _Toriko would be the difficult one. "I was just about to come back, Toriko. Lead the way—"

"Aya," Sakanemon started, looking up at her human partner. A frown danced on her pout. "Please tell them. They're worried, too."

The practiced smile Toriko has always seen on Aya's lips turned sour. "Toriko is worried? I better go start on breakfast, then—"

"Kiro made us some breakfast," Toriko snapped. "Not everything is done here by you, y'know. What has you so worried, anyway?"

"Right now?" Aya looked back at Toriko. "I'm worried about you. Why have you decided to come?"

"I meant generally!" Toriko yelled. "You worry about everyone and everything, and yet when it comes to yourself, all you can do is make us worry."

"What?" Aya frowned. "I haven't made anyone worry—"

"Yes, you have!" The elder girl snarled. "You have, and all you've been doing is avoiding it—Sakanemon's worried, Kiro's worried, and that makes us worried too, y'know? We all know when you decide to get uptight like... _this, _but you don't seem to notice that that smile of yours? Isn't convincing anyone."

Aya smiled again, although Toriko was sure it was just meant to enrage her more. "I can bring it up privately with them. You, however, have no reason to worry, do you?"

"Of course I do!" Toriko retorted. "I just... didn't realize you'd get this bad."

This time, Aya was definitely confused. "Beg your pardon?"

Toriko sighed. "I was jealous, okay? Jealous because everyone seems to like you, literally _gravitate _towards you, and yet all you can do is just hide yourself like _this _thinking that no one will care. But they do. If they didn't why would they care to be around you?"

Aya's frown deepened, but she didn't say anything. Toriko took that as a sign to continue. "If something's wrong, you should just say it. No one will hate you for it because you're just being human. Honestly, I think they'll just stop worrying, which is good for you too—"

"You don't get it, do you?" Aya's eyes were not gentle as they narrowed. "I can't do that. I can't stop. If I do, people will just see me exactly as I really am—"

"What, apathetic?" Toriko's eyes narrowed as well. "No one thinks that, of course. Not a single person. Because they like you, and you like them—"

"No," Aya's eyes no longer had that dangerous edge to them as they looked down. Her frown turned into pure sorrow. "No, I really don't."

Sakanemon, who hadn't said anything during the whole conversation, finally decided to pipe up. "Stop that, Aya. You care. Whenever a battle happens from no where, a small tint comes into your eyes. A tint of worry. It's small, so don't think you can fake that, because you don't." Sakanemon let out a breath she'd been holding throughout the entire discussion. "Not when it comes down to lives."

"But..." The younger girl, with a lost look on her face, really seemed like her age now. "When Kiro... when he confessed that he... _likes _me in _that way, _all I said to him was that I was..."

Aya looked heavy with guilt as Toriko sighed. _So that's what this is about, isn't it? "I don't think you're feeling apathy, Aya."_

The younger girl had to take a breath in. "Yeah. I know."

Toriko wanted to slap her, but she also took a deep breath in. "You made a lot of people worry for nothing, you know."

Aya smiled, this time a genuine, broken one. "Did I, now?"

"Just let me sit and talk, pipsqueak." Now that Toriko knew of Aya's age, she could finally call her that. _Finally_. "There's counselling for this, y'know."

Aya's eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I-?"

"To help you sort through this," Toriko listed, "and to tell you that being asexual isn't a bad thing. Kiro took the no—he's only worried about how you feel right now."

Aya's eyebrows continued to furrow. "He is?"

Toriko nodded. "Yeah. He is." She stood up. "And so is everyone else. So let's get going and worry about something worth worrying, like, y'know, about what your crest is actually going to be. Because I'm thinking of a crossover between nervousness and stupidity..."

"H-hey!" Aya blushed in embarrassment. "Crests aren't a joke, you know!" She got up with Sakanemon, the Digimon finally looking like the happiest she could be. "And wait, what exactly did Kiro tell you?"

Toriko laughed as she walked back to the campsite with Dracomon, her younger friend and her Digimon partner in tow.

* * *

After a large hustle with an even larger Digimon, Aya finally found her crest.

And she was very happy when she felt a small, light voice call out to her that it was her Crest of Integrity.

* * *

**AN: I was waaaaay too tempted to write this. I hope I did her some justice, because it took me a while to stop hating myself for not wanting to be in a relationship before I realized that it was okay. People usually know when no is no, as long as you weren't/aren't lying to them/yourself. Because it's very immature to be in a fake relationship with someone, only staying just to please them when it's not gonna work or later on because you're trying to be fake for them/yourself.**

**(Y'know... the hardest part about writing these is knowing that you're going to end up angsting with them all later. Because Daigo and Maki were the only ones to survive their adventure, after all... :p)**


End file.
